Counseling with Partners
A romantic partnership is often the most important relationship in one’s life. A thriving partnership can help meet your deepest needs for connection and security. But, let’s face it: relationships can be freaking hard! They are dreamy at first, when you’re swimming in feel-good hormones and enjoying all the ways you just “get” each other. Eventually though, you are bound to face differences in preferences, behaviors, wants, or needs. Ideally, you will be able to meet these times with curiosity, confidence, care, and creative collaboration. But often, differences feel triggering or threatening, and some people will resort to protective strategies to avoid difficult feelings, but ultimately contribute to unhealthy dynamics that can cause even more pain. Sound familiar?
If any of the statements below describe your experience, then relationship counseling will likely be able to help:
-You are happy but want to enhance communication, connection, and understanding
-You lose yourself in the relationship, agreeing to things you don’t want then resenting it
-You feel like you are responsible for your partner’s feelings and reactions
-You are questioning whether to stay together or want help ending a relationship
-You fight a lot, unable to bridge your differences
-You get triggered then shut down, explode, criticize, or blame as a way to deal
-You are struggling through big changes or crises (infidelity, loss, parenthood, opening up your relationship)
-You want to address differences in desire for intimacy
“Giving up your individuality to be together is as defeating in the long run as giving up your relationship to maintain your individuality. Either way, you end up being less of a person with less of a relationship.” ~David Schnarch from Passionate Marriage
No matter what the challenge is in your relationship, your ability to navigate and resolve it will be greatly supported by engaging in therapeutic work together. My therapeutic approach is centered around differentiation and attachment. Simply put, this means developing the personal stability and skills to be close to someone without losing yourself or being reactive.
Counseling can help you to become more willing and able to:
-self-examine (look at your role in the dynamic)
-identify and honestly share what’s true for you (your feelings, needs, desires)
-own your choices and behaviors (without blame or resentment)
-self-regulate (manage your emotions without negative reactions)
-seek understanding about your partner’s needs and experiences alongside your own (be curious and caring)
-practice genuine apologies and sincere expressions of appreciation (build closeness)
I am here to support you as you discover what is important for your individual growth and the health of your relationship. Together, we will work through the stuck places and identify the unique ways your relationship calls on you to grow. In this process, partners will practice and witness vulnerability alongside one another, eliminating any need to take sides or blame. Understanding will be developed with one another fostering connection and change. Through this work, most people find that they are able to share more meaningfully as they become clear about their true feelings and needs, which allows them to trust themselves, so they can build greater trust in their relationship.
Session Information
Counseling with Individuals: $150 for 50 minutes
Counseling with Partners: $175 for 60 minutes
Sessions are private pay
Virtual and in-person sessions available
“No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside. We cannot open the gate of another, either by argument or emotional appeal” ~Marilyn Ferguson
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